LOOK AT THIS HUMONGOUS BABY!

The tale of a Kindergarten Christmas Play.

My son was Joseph in the school Christmas play this year. He asked for the leading, living, male role when he found out who was playing Mary. Yes my 6-year-old has a crush.

The original date of the play was December 19th but school was closed because of bad weather so the party was postponed until the following Monday.

They practiced their lines over and over but costumes were kind of an after thought. The teachers did what they could. As the lead my son got to wear a wool poncho that dragged on the floor – it was not meant for the 4" set. Our Mary was lovely in her red velvet party dress. She wore a cloth head covering that was held on with an elastic headband and a cape/shawl that was originally a curtain in one of the play areas.

The shepherds wore tunics made from a cheap brown plastic tablecloth cut to fit over their heads. Green yarn was tied around their waists and they carried empty wrapping paper tubes as walking sticks. Under their tunics the boys were dressed in jeans, character shirts and sneakers. All the girls were beautiful angels. They came to school wearing velvet party dresses and put on children's choir robes for the play.

My son welcomed the parents to the production after the toddlers and preschoolers did their song and dance routines, "Welcome to our Christmas play, we hope you enjoy it!"

He then walked over to the manger scene and knelt down. As the teacher was telling of the angel's visit to Mary, my son yells out, "Hey guys look at this humongous baby!" The doll they had gotten to play Jesus was about half the size of Mary.

The teacher didn't flinch and just kept going with the story. After the angel Gabriel(la) finished speaking, Mary joined Joseph in the stable. The angel Gabriel joined the other 2 angels lined up opposite the 3 shepherds. The kids looked as if a square dance lesson was about to begin.

The teacher continued, "The angels appeared to the shepherds, and they were afraid.” The three boys, in unison, let out a small yell.

Everyone joined Mary and Joseph in the stable and again my son says, “Look at this humongous baby!” He lifts the naked (though not anatomically correct) doll up by its head and feet to show everyone and then puts it back in the manger. The doll only bounces a little.

After the play my boy walks back to center stage and says, “We hope you have enjoyed our play. Merry Christmas.”

The musical portion of their program is about to begin. All the kids run around the stage with their heads down trying to find the piece of masking tape with their name on it so they are sure to stand in the right spot. Once they are in place one of the teachers pushes the button on the boom box. Two others teachers run around the stage putting red and green painted paper ponchos with yarn fringe all the students, making sure everyone is wearing their own art work.

The music and gestures begin. All the children rock the invisible baby Jesus in their arms. All the children accept mine. My son is pulling on the neckline of the poncho. It’s obviously itchy. He continues to sing but he has had enough of this wool poncho and can’t wait until the end of the program to get out of it.
He takes off the paper poncho.
He takes off the wool poncho.
He reveals the fact that this Joseph is a big Spiderman fan.
He puts the paper poncho back on.
He begins kicking at the wool poncho to get it out of his way.
One of the teachers sneaks on the stage and rescues the wool poncho.

Now it’s time for his favorite song — Feliz Navidad and it becomes obvious why the wool poncho could not be in his way. There is a good deal of jumping in this production of the song, and my son is going for the height record. His knees hit his chest on almost every jump.

At the end of the musical numbers the girl who played the angel Gabriel says the school prayer before we eat,
“Thank you God for this day.
I hope we have a good, good day
With no hitting, kicking, punching or spitting
In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen”

The teachers let the parents go shopping and babysat our kids for free for a few hours. I love that school and will miss the heck out of them next year when he goes to the “big kid” school. I introduced one of the other mothers to Craft Fancy, and she introduced me to Starbuck's Hot Cocoa. It was a good evening.

I hope you all have good holiday memories from this year too.